Funny Bird Dance Compilation December 2016 – Stop Laughing if u can Challenge – Fail Army 2016

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRst4MdkXyA

Link to this Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRst4MdkXyA

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About this Video:

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”

The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”

My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.

After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”

From the police blotter, or, what a beat cop deals with every day:

• A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. It was the mail carrier.

• A woman said her son was attacked by a cat, and the cat would not allow her to take her son to the hospital.

• A resident said someone had entered his home at night and taken five pounds of bacon. Upon further investigation, police discovered his wife had gotten up for a late-night snack.

• A man reported that a squirrel was running in circles on Davis Drive, and he wasn’t sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An officer responded, and as he drove on the street, he ran over the squirrel.

We were tearing down an old three-seater outhouse when my neighbor asked if she could have the single-plank, three-hole outhouse seat. I said sure.

Six months later, she invited me to her home. There she showed off her newly designed family room, complete with a single-plank, three-hole picture frame featuring her three grandchildren.

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The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”

My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”

The photographer interrupted me: “I meant him.”

“Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”

“Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in the shower and got nervous.’”

“Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.”

As a Speech therapist, I was working with a preschooler on body-part identification and the k sound. To that end, I had him use Play-Doh to make a sculpture of me.

“Is that my neck?” I asked, trying to get him to repeat the word.

“No, that’s your chin,” he said.

He added more Play-Doh. “Is that my neck?” I asked.

“No, that’s your other chin.”

I am so tired. Makes me wanna curse. But I like to keep it clean, always. I may be an unruly child, but cursing is not the way of the Lord. Though little else I do is the way of the Lord. Mmmm. I gotta think about that.

My mom is a dumb hole and she went to work and left me home and told me not to move. Well guess what? STEP, STEP, STEP! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! WIGGLE, WIGGLE. What is she going to do? NOTHING! Exactly. Is anybody on the same page as I?

Sometimes I just wanna run away and be with my lover. Wonder where she is? Lemme get my cell. So I can hit the lil’ girl with a text.

“Kaliyah, can you come over? My mom went to work. Dumbhole(Mom). ”

”

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